Introducing #JOMO: the Joy Of Missing Out
Everyone’s going to that party tonight but you’re feeling knackered. You’ve had a long week of meetings, messages you haven’t replied to, laundry that’s piling up and let’s be honest, you really can’t be bothered having to yell over music and listen to Susan talk about her latest detox… but if you told your mates, you worry they would judge.
Here’s the thing: so what.
Rather than spending the evening wishing you were home, unwinding to your favourite tunes and a bowl of pasta, embrace the spirit of #JOMO and practise the underrated art of saying No.
We often worry if we could be making a better choice or if there’s somewhere else we should be right now… and all that thinking has left us with little time for self-care. We’re too busy posting pictures of every new-agey latte, saying yes to every catch-up and being there for everyone that we eventually burn ourselves out.
When you free up your mind and your life of all the things that you should or could be doing, you begin to make space for what is truly important to you. That’s what real self-care looks like - no, it’s not always a bath filled with rose petals, it’s not selfish or self-indulgent - it’s at its core, simply putting yourself first.
Here are some ways to get started:
1. A non-insta, bigger picture
Think about a current goal you’d like to meet and it’ll help you determine what is worth saying Yes to. If your current goal is to create better relationships with those around you, maybe organising a quiet weekend dinner would be better than getting smashed at the bar.
Before saying yes to the next thing, ask yourself: does this sit well within your bigger picture, what can you gain from it, is there something else you’d rather be committed to, why are you saying yes?
2. Unsubscribe
Give yourself tech time-off and unsubscribe from social media accounts that give you that FOMO feeling. If you’re getting insta-envy from your friend’s endless uploads of sunny Santorini, maybe just hit ‘mute’ for the next month or so. And if following fitness accounts or social influencers are causing you to compare yourself, take a break from those too. The internet will still be here when you return.
3. Schedule it
What are the priorities that will fit and serve your bigger goal? It could be meal prepping, working out or focusing on a passion project. Schedule those first and trust us, when you’ve taken care of yourself and aren’t running on empty, you’ll have so much more energy to be there for others.
4. Add ‘no’ to your vocabulary
This one might take a little practice and initially, you might worry about how others might respond but you need to honour and create time for yourself. Plus, it’s better than overcommitting and then flaking out at the very last minute. If you’re not sure about how to say no, be honest. Tell your friends what’s going on in your life and that you’d just love to have a quiet night in. Who knows, they might just be feeling the same.
5. Make self-care a constant
Going away twice a year might be nice but if that’s all the self-care you’re getting, it really isn’t enough. Add self-care spots to your weekly routine - whether it’s a 10-minute meditation, weekend bush walk or a weeknight ceramic class, get it in your calendar.